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2004-12-09 11:38 p.m.

I'm feeling very stressed right now. Not only do I have: way too much work to do (and no motivation to do it, so I'm very behind), 2 exams this weekend (and 7 chapters to read for them), a cold, and done no shopping (due to no money until payday), but I am also in that state where I can't stand the human race. There is so much violence out there. I cry every time I read a newspaper, which, as it's part of my job, is at least three papers a day. I avoided reading the paper all week, and had to catch up today. I was shaking with anger when I read it. People make me sick. I want very much to help the state of the world, but other than giving money, I don't know how.

I want to:
- stop violence
- help victims of violence and their families
- help the poor
- feed hungry children, and hungry adults too
- hug every mother and father who have lost a child
- hug every person suffering a loss
- be there when people are afraid
- raise awareness
- help people realize what being a human being is all about
- be a better person myself

I feel overwhelmed. I want to save the world. I also want to pass my psychology exams. I'm finding myself unable to do anything about both the world and my exam. My solution seems to be eating too much and watching reality shows.

In other news, I have someone in this building harassing me by putting bags of kitty litter and garbage outside my door. I have no idea why. This is also stressing me out. First couple of times it happened, I thought it was a mistake. Then Monday, the third time it happened, I though, "Nope, not a mistake." Then yesterday, it happened again, so I put a note on my door which read "Please do not put your garbage outside of my door. Thank you." They responded by putting a full bag of garbage outside my door, and stealing my little Christmas decoration off my door.

There was crap there again this evening when I came home. My landlord was there, so I showed him. He was hoppin' mad, but like me, had no idea how to catch the culprit. It�s making me feel weird. Someone�s pissed with me, I don�t know why. At first I thought my apartment might smell or something, but it doesn�t. And, even if it did, the mature thing would be to bring a complaint up with the landlord. He said no one�s complained, and he and his wife quite like me living here. So, I�m not sure what they are playing at, and I�m trying to ignore it, but failing, as you can see.

So, two exams, a cold, shit left on my doorstep, no money for another week, and a general sense of ill will toward the human race in general, and I�m feeling a little bit down.

I am going home in two weeks today. That I am very, VERY excited about.

Editor's note: Seems like the heat is not working in the building either. Earlier this week it was working half-assed. My landlord told me the problem was fixed. Ya, not it's not working at all. Not one drop of heat. At all. I'm so cold.



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