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2002-04-17 10:45 a.m.

Oh, what an idiot I am! I just sent out a mass emailing to all the 700 people on our list� and forgot to un-check the �confirm reading� box. Yup, I�m going to get 700 confirmations. D�oh! That�ll learn me. Well, it might, but it didn�t last time I did that around Christmas time� That was such a pain.

I have my philosophy exam tonight. I hope I do well. I have to write six essay questions. I hope he can read my hand writing. As anyone who knows me will attest, that�s not an easy thing to do!

I�m really sick of school. I keep asking myself, why? Why am I in school. I remember the original reason for my going back� I hated my job at the TV station and couldn�t get a job elsewhere. So, a student loan was the answer. I could live off that while pursuing higher education. Thereby, I was no longer doing something I hate. So, I gave my notice to the station and was happy about going to school. Then this job came up. I applied, it was part time, so it would help me get through school. All I needed was an $8 an hour job 15 hours per week, and bills would be covered. This job pays me more at 17.5 hours a week (full-time now that my boss is sick). I can cover bills, and then some. And, it�s in my field. This is so what I want to be doing the rest of my life (okay, the rest of my life as it looks now). I love communications, I�m good at it, and it involves lots of aspects of journalism. There is always room for growth in this career, and if you�re willing to move, lots of career changes still in communications that can be made.

However, I feel selfish at the same time. The reasons against going to school� Well, mainly, and unselfishly, stress. This is a lot of work, and all that. However, the rest of the reasons are selfish. I want more time for me. I want to be able to go home and read a novel, instead of a text book. I want to be able to go to the gym in the evening, without having to worry about my night class, or go in the morning, and not worry about being too tired to make it through to 9 p.m. I don�t want to waste my money for half-assed grades because I�m to tired (or lazy, I�m not sure which yet) to put my all into my courses.

So tell me, why am I still in school? This is not a rhetorical question people� I really am looking for answers, advice, anything.




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